Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If I could travell back in time to anywhere it would be......

One night in the hospital as I lay in my bed I suddenly see my friend being wheeled off into the ICU department. a few moments later I hear the bloodcurdeling screams of my firend as the doctors oporate on him. I lay there anxiously waiting for the screams to stop, I close my eyes hoping that they will stop, and then all of a sudden, there was silence. I curiously get out of my bed and stumble out of my room as i head towards the ICU department. As I get closer to the ICU room I can start to smell a Discusting smell that  I cant quite tell what it is, I take a deep breath as I nervously open the door to the ICU room. As my eyes glance onto to table I suddenly have a horrified look on my face to see blood everywhere  and my friend lays lifeless on the operating table. The surgeon suddenly whips around to see me standing in the doorway. He casually starts to walk over to me but by the time he had left the table I had bolted back to my room. A few moments later the surgeon calmly into my room and found me curled up in a corner,he knelt down beside me and gave me a hug and told me everything is going to be alright, But I knew that my friend was never coming back.

1 comment:

  1. You've done a good job of choosing a specific scene and trying to include details to bring the reader into the experience. Main focus is to correct mechanical errors. Keep your tense consisitent. Check for spelling and sentences that do not make sense.

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